Tears ㅠ.ㅠ

week after week,

i find myself in unfamiliar places and settings.

although it’s interesting to see new & different things

it’s lonely being away from friends and family,

who you look to lean on, with happiness or sorrow.

i bite my lips getting through the week, thinking…

just 3 more days, 2 more days, 1 more day…

until his arrival.

whether he knows this or not…

he missed the train that i arranged for him to come see me.

with disappointment and anger, i yelled out to him,

and now he is no longer coming.

so, alone again, silly joy.

tears…

purple dress for a fw'09 evening~^^*

i've fianlly made my 1st post on chictopia!! ^^*

chictopia is this great site where anyone and everyone can click-click on their outfit of the day, and talk about it as they share it with the world! what a brilliant idea! i had no idea that all the fashion bloggers were hiding (well,... from me) over there! it's a great little community where everyone shares a common interest and encourage one another. i really love & enjoy looking at everyone's unique taste and bravery being displayed! ^^*

so after hesitating for a few days... i decided to jump in as well~ this was my 1st outfit that i shared with the chictopians! haha~ =D

my purple dress that i have had my eyes on for about a month or so from Doota @ ddm! this dress is fully lined (also nicely purple inside) and the outer shell seems to be of warm wool blend. it is really warm! i love the fact that it's not another black or grey winter dress (altho i adore these too!!) and look how cute it hugs me around my waist with a few flowy pleats coming down to the skirt. the cap sleeves are so comfy too~ ^^*

anyhow, i hope i don't get addicted to this site too much and lose too much sleep!!! it is past 3am right now (2nights in a row) and i'm still working on fashion! (well, more like looking and searching, haha)

well, it's a good thing that i'm getting inspired... after how our last project turned out. i need to quickly get back on my feet and start putting together another line!! yay! =D

oh, and here is how my outfit looked WITH my lovely gold military button style coat: ta-dah!!!~

Route 1706

August 1, 2009

got on a random bus after dropping sister off at seoul station... hoping that the bus will give me a little tour of seoul that i have not yet seen. to my surprise, i was given a lot more to see than what i hoped for.

Gwang-hwa-moon station... was full of people, lights, and camera!
it happened to be the opening of the "new gwang-hwa-moon square" that had been under construction for months to finally show off its new istorical charm. Rows of water shout up high in the air from the newly established fountains next to the "historical walk" of Korea.
A huge stage was provided for performances to celebrate this day; camera crew, new and old from all over the country, rows of police buses stood in awe.

I couldn't believe that I was allowed to be part of this special moment.
stones that bear encryption from 2009, all the way back to the 1300's of Chosun dynasty, with its historical moment layed under our feet... under a streaming water... as history flowed through the years. What a metaphorical, touching moment it was.

I stayed on the bus to see familes get on and get off.
A mom with 2 little sons got on, and they both pulled for her attention and love.
"mom, you're going to sit with me this time!"
the son chattered away next to his mom without any care for his older brother sitting further away.

A young family of mom, dad, son and a daughter got on. The little boy was stubborn next to his daddy to sit next to a high window... not to miss the water fountains shooting high up in the air. Then a naive clapping filled the bus with his big smile & shout... from such a little boy. Dad scolded the boy not to be so stubborn, but for some reason, it does not sound harsh at all; a sweet, loving scold from a young dad who apparently adores his son so so much.

Another mom with 2 other sons hurriedly tries to get off the bus, and lovingly calls out to her son: "Isn't this your stop?" And they all chuckle as they finally make their way out of the bus, then up a hill to their sweet home.
i must have followed them home, because then the bus driver called out to me, "aren't you getting off?!" oh no... i came to his end stop... "no, i'm not. just keep going 'back' in a circle." ^^

is it a coincidence that these scenes of families keep capturing my eyes, my ears and my heart?
or... is it time...?

A Ball of Fire

A great anger built up inside of me... like a ball of fire, ready to explode.
No one would ever imagine a girl like me would be so full of anger... frustration...
Sometimes at night this anger keeps me awake, I feel like punching everything in reach of me,
as if that would tire me out... to... finally put me to sleep.

There are hidden issues that must be dealt with...
but i keep running from... hiding from...
To avoid confrontation at all cost...

What is it that I must accomplish in this school ground... of LIFE?
That I must continuously run in circles of roller coasters... up & down... up & down...?
Only if I knew... I would chase only after those things...
and then call it an END.

Korea is Changing Me

Korea amazes me...
how it's changed over the years,
how it's become a world's recognized giant,
how it works so hard to be the best,
how it stays awake 24 hours a day/ 7 days a week,
how it just doesn't fail to show me more and more each day...

Korea is changing me...
how it pushes Me to work so hard toward my goals,
how it forces Me to stay awake as long as humanly possible,
how it takes me around to show off its limitless boundaries...

The faces of my Korean students that I see each day humble me greatly.
The hours they put into studying multiple subjects in and outside of their school,
The seriousness they have toward their "job" as a student,
The innocense they have toward life, yet the mature attitudes they carry on their shoulders.

"Lazy Libra..." BH likes to call me...
Well, this lazylibra doesn't sleep until 5am nowadays, trying to make sure all work's done.
She has a job to run to during the day, and a business to run at night.

"13, going on 31"

"13, going on 31"

1990, i left Korea at the age of 12, made my way over to America.
2004, i finally had a chance to visit my home country again.
coming back after the long 14 yrs, I no long felt "at home" in Korea...
everything felt so... "foreign"...
Yet, I felt like my old 12-year old self again... when i was almost 30.
I felt like I could rediscover my old friends, old school, old home again... somewhere hiding deep in my heart.

After short 3-weeks of reminiscing, memory-searching, visiting old friends...
i was on my way back to America... where my fiance awaited.

2005 came my marriage with a "Non-Korean," yet a true soul-mate of mine. who would've ever guessed...?

...fast forward...

2009, January... I find myself back in Korea again.
I never really thought that I'd live in Korea ever again, due to such different customs that I was no longer used to, a lifestyle that was so "foreign" to me now...

Yet, my husband is here with me... an American... like me(?),
yet we both fell right in love with Korea, deeply!

This really is where "Seoul" is!!!
People are so passionate, compassionate, and so caring,...
not to mention... opinionated, rude, and ... well.... in such a rush at all times.
Whatever it is, they will put in there all, at full-force.

To sum up: "Koreans Work Hard, and They Play Hard!"

There are all kinds of people that live here, yet not many are used to "foreigners."
Whenever they see Bryan, some bold people would yell out to him,
"Hey, Obama!"
"Hey, where are you from?"
"Hey, how are you?"

People would just randomly strike up a conversation with foreigners in hopes of improving their English even a little bit; they would stare like there is no tomorrow if you're an English-speaker.
Actually, if they would stare no matter what... haha.
They stare at your clothes, your shoes, your bag, purse, glasses, hat,... whatever they can get their eyes on. But you can't blame them... when we all share the same public transportation and have nothing better to do, ...than to stare across from where we are sitting. ^^*

So far, I am really enjoying my life in Korea.
Yes, we do live in a small place with only 1/2 kitchen... but sometimes I feel like we're really living it up!
I love the teaching experience that I am gaining through CDI, exporting business experience through many different manufacturers and contractors in Dong Dae Moon.

Every Day is a life experience and Every Day brings us something new.
The slow pace of America no longer exists... Everything is SO rapid here!
We're only slightly adjusting for now...

Korea has so much to offer... i'm not so sure that I can really digest everything.

I am in LOVE with Korea,
the country that gave me life,
the country that shares the same birthday as me,
the country that I never learned to appreciate much,
the country that I am just starting to get to know... ^^*

7,000 miles away. . . the little one went.

so there my little sister went...
7,000 miles away from all of us family

gave us heartaches, gave us worries, gave us some tears,
with her little selfish tantrums, her stubbornness...

the little one in the family, now no one to depend on but herself
she can cry, she can shout, she can whine all she wants
but no longer will anyone be there for her

she's gone to grow up, to mature a bit
without her mommy, without her unnies,

she'll be back though soon enough
hopefully this time more independent than ever before
to stand on her own two feet
like a tall bright sunflower that she's always liked